school daze 2.0

The Teacher: So what part of speech is ’she’?
Students: (silence)
TT: (sings) ‘Conjunction junction…’
Students: (silence)
TT: Well, I think it’s a pronoun, but I’m not sure.

Student: How do you spell ‘thorough’?
The Teacher: How do you think?
S: Well, I have no idea.  That’s why I’m asking.
TT: (sigh) Fine.  T-H-O-R-O-U-G-H.  Are you happy now?

Student: When are we going to have fun in here?
The Teacher: If you’re in here for fun, then you need to go talk to your counselor and get out of this class.  Because learning is not fun in here.
S: I don’t know who my counselor is.
TT: Then that is a problem.
S: But what am I supposed to do?
TT: I’m not going to sit here and listen to you whine like a sissy.
S: Did you just call me a sissy?
TT: Yes.  Yes, I did.  Because that’s what you are.  You’re a little sissy.  Now pay attention before I write you up.
S: Please don’t write me up!  You can call my parents if you want – I’ll tell them whatever you want me to!  But if I get a referral, I’ll get kicked off of the soccer team.
TT: Well, then, I’m writing you up.  Why should I care if you get kicked off the soccer team?

The student in the conversation above is no longer in the class.  His parents called the school (shock!) and asked to have him removed.  The sad part is that I really liked this kid.

The Teacher: What is prediction?
Student: Is it like foreshadowing?
TT: Oh, gosh, no.  That’s way harder than what we’re going to do.  We’ll never get to that.
S: Oh.
TT: So, what is prediction?
S: Well, I thought it’s what foreshadowing did, but now I’m not sure.

Here’s a prediction for you – you will learn nothing in this class except false information.  Or maybe that’s foreshadowing.  Who knows.

The Teacher: Do you ever finish a book and think, “Oh, my god, what did I just read!”?  That happens to me all the time, because I never pay attention when I read.  Except romance novels.

I just overheard a student in the hall telling a friend that all his stuff was stolen out of his locker because “I left the sticker on the back of the lock that said the combination.”

Sad.

The Teacher is doing a lesson with her students on the difference between comfortable and uncomfortable reading.  She has given them four criteria – friendliness, language, interest, and prior knowledge - that will determine how comfortable it will be for them to read a given piece.  The students are being encouraged to only read comfortable reading, and if they have to read something uncomfortable for class, they should read through and just underline the parts that are comfortable for them.  The other parts aren’t really important because they won’t understand it anyhow.

An example of uncomfortable reading:
Stress systems show themselves through a “fight or flight” reaction to stressful situations.
Teacher: Do you guys know what that means?  I don’t have any idea what that means.  It’s so confusing.  So just go through the article about stress and underline the easy parts – like things that help prevent stress.  It says here that vacations, learning how to relax, and tranquilizers can help stress.

You know, when I was in school, we had to read whatever we were assigned, not just the comfortable parts. And where did this idea even come from? It makes no sense, and makes me need some of those tranquilizers that can help stress.

The Teacher: So you guys need to find some books to read.  I hate reading.  Even though I’m a reading teacher, I really don’t like it.  Except for my sister’s books that she writes.
Student: Can you bring some of those in, if those are the ones you like?
The Teacher: Well, not really.  They’re a little too spicy for school.
Student: Like what?  Are they cooking books or something?
(awkward silence)
The Teacher: No, they’re romance novels.
Student: Oh, so they have too much sex in them?
(more awkward silence)
The Teacher: Anyhow, you guys need to pick a book to read.