Student: (hacking coughs)
The Teacher: Seriously. Would you go over in the corner and choke? I have had enough of your attitude.
S: (while coughing) Could I go get a drink of water?
TT: Absolutely not. I don’t care what’s wrong with you. Just stop interrupting me.
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Today, The Teacher’s lesson is about the difference between skinny questions and fat questions.
I can’t even begin to know how to understand this.
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My favorite bottled water in the whole world is made by Iceland Springs. It is incredibly tasty and most delicious; no other water can ever compare.
Until today. The Teacher informed me today that she lived in Iceland for two years, thus managing to taint not only my job, but also my hydration drink. Dang.
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The Teacher: Did the Egyptians use ziggurats?
Student: Um, I don’t think so.
TT: You’re right! They used those big pointy things.
S: Big pointy things?
TT: Oh, what are they called…
Me: Pyramids.
TT: Yes!
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From an e-mail:
Due to the on-going construction, the fax machine will not be operably until further notice.
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Last year, The Teacher informed her students that carbon-14 was a powder that you sprinkled on an artifact to learn about it. She enlightened this year’s students further on the topic.
The Teacher: Carbon-14 is a machine that tells you how old something is.
(later that same day)
The Teacher: Carbon-14 dating tells you whether something is an artifact, or a fossil. It tells you what it’s made of, where it came from, and who used it.
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An e-mail regarding building visitors:
I think we need a policy for any students entering the building that does not attend school [here]. Within the last two weeks there have been several issues in the parking lot and inside the building.
Teachers are telling former students to meet them at there classroom. This is a Hugh problem managing the safely of students, staff, and contractors.
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Question: How do hurricanes affect the wetlands around New Orleans?
Student Answer: New Orleans used to serve hurricanes, but then Katrina happened, and everything changed.
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The Teacher: So what part of speech is ’she’?
Students: (silence)
TT: (sings) ‘Conjunction junction…’
Students: (silence)
TT: Well, I think it’s a pronoun, but I’m not sure.
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Student: How do you spell ‘thorough’?
The Teacher: How do you think?
S: Well, I have no idea. That’s why I’m asking.
TT: (sigh) Fine. T-H-O-R-O-U-G-H. Are you happy now?
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